Finally: Obama produces long form birth certificate

The Whitehouse released Obama's for realsies birth certificate on Wednesday. The results: Barrack Hussein Obama II was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, at the Kapiolani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital on August 4, 1961 at 7:24 PM.



Naturally you may be asking yourself: Why wait? Why let the doubt go on for two years if he had the birth certificate all along?

Simple: It allowed plenty of time for the "Birthers" to work themselves into a frenzy, gave the Left time to paint all the opposition as such, and then gave the Magic O a chance to get in front of the Press and make his opponents look like idiots.

All in all, about as unpredictable as the end of a Scooby Doo episode. The only real question is why now, as opposed to right before the elections, for instance, or after the Republican primaries.

Of course, hard core belief in Obama being non-eligible for the Presidency due to his birth always required some suspension of disbelief. With the literally millions of dollars spent on elections and the dozens of very powerful people with their junk on the line, you would think this paper equivalent of a Disintegrate spell cast by a level 20 wizard (40d6 damage, because I know you're going to look it up if I don't tell you) would have come to the surface long before now if there was any true substance behind it. It is unlikely they'll let a little thing like proof get in their way.

Cue the thousands of youtube sleuths who will conclusively prove (without ever actually handling any kind of document) that this birth certificate is false, was actually created on Neptune, and shows irrefutably that Obama is in fact a dirty Muslim-pirate-cyborg.

Morals and the Implied Task

The military is fond of implied tasks. As a Joe, I've had this phrase spoken to me on numerous occasions. Usually, it's in the tones of talking to a particularly slow toddler. For instance, when I claim I could not mop the floor because the mops were frozen, the "Implied Task" is to run water over the mops till they thaw you effing moron.

Keep that in mind when you read this article, an excellent (and very brief) piece by a lawyer and OIF vet about war crimes.

"Every single Taliban wearing the civilian clothes of the surrounding villagers is committing a war crime. Every single Hamas fighter who launches his rockets at an Israeli town from a school courtyard commits a war crime. Every single al Qaeda suicide bombing of a hospital, restaurant, or even military checkpoint is a war crime.

These war crimes are designed not merely to make it easier for terrorists to engage American soldiers (whom they could never defeat in open combat); they are also deliberately chosen to inflate civilian casualties....So what possible moral justification exists for incentivizing these illegal acts by bestowing on captured terrorists the privilege of the full and comprehensive due process protections of a civilian trial? A prisoner of war captured in uniform would not enjoy such protections. Does the Left not understand that imposing such burdens on our justice system leads not to respect from our enemies but to contempt and exploitation?

Further, does the Left not understand that civilian trials (together with the consequent evidentiary requirements) would require our soldiers to act, essentially, as detectives in the middle of a shooting war?"

Funny thing about war. People tend to shoot at you during it, which makes the conducting of a forensic investigation a bit difficult.

Part of what's puzzling to me about the entire affair is why there is even an argument to begin with. Those who have never, will never, and could never face a real battlefield should hesitate before making value judgements about the morality of those who do. War is an ugly thing, and it makes necessary ugly actions.

So, what does this all mean to the Joe? When he's told that if he takes a prisoner, that prisoner will likely become a media circus show in the States? That he has to risk life and limb to gather enough evidence to convict if he wants the prisoner to be put away and prevent the enemy from being released by the Enemy At His Six to again become the Enemy At His Twelve?

What is the Implied Task?

Simple. Don't take prisoners.

Problem solved.

Ah, the Law of Unintended Consequences strikes again.

Down, but not out

To both my loyal readers: You may have noticed a severely lowered output on this blog. By severely lowered, I mean practically non-existent. I have not died, or converted to an obscure Eastern religion that forbids political thought. Instead, I'm preparing for the possibility that my third job, the one that I have to wear the fancy uniform for, may be sending me on an extended vacation in the near future.

Until this is settled, I likely will continue not to speak much in this public forum...Maybe for a long time.