Sunday, September 20, 2009

This just in! Michael Moore is a moron! Oh, and a communist too.

Michael Moore has recently premiered a new movie. You may recognize the name. He has been made famous for such works as “Fahrenheit 9/11” (Tells how Dubya & Co. used the vicious terrorist attacks on New York that killed thousands as justification for hunting down and killing terrorists) and “Sicko” (Details why Private Health care in America sucks while Fidel Castro has the best system EVAH!). These movies are on my list of things that I “Must do”, right under “Poke self in eye with stick”. Also known as the exploding fat guy with chili dogs from “Team America: World Police”.

This new movie is entitled “Capitalism: A Love Story”. It premiered in a Venice film festival on September 6th. It walked away from said festival with two awards. Which awards, you ask? Great question!

So anyway…

From the Reuter’s article:
“Blending his trademark humor with tragic individual stories, archive footage and publicity stunts, the 55-year-old launches an all out attack on the capitalist system, arguing that it benefits the rich and condemns millions to poverty.

‘Capitalism is an evil, and you cannot regulate evil,’ the two-hour movie concludes.”

Fun Fact: Evil Capitalism is the financial philosophy that has given us life spans of 70+ years, a TV in nearly every home, an automobile in every driveway, and made it possible to become annoyed if your communication across the planet takes longer than 5 seconds.

Fun Fact: Communism is the system that gave us…Great spy movie villains. And…Vodka! Don’t forget gulags. Everyone loves a good gulag.

"You have to eliminate it and replace it with something that is good for all people and that something is democracy."

Democracy: A system of government which involves direct voting by citizens, popular in Ancient Greece. (As opposed to a Democratic Republic, popular in America, Canada, Britain, France, Germany, Italy, Israel, India, Australia, Poland…etc. It is kind of nit picking, since the vernacular uses Democracy and Democratic Republic interchangeably, but it’s my blog, so deal with it.)

Capitalism is not a system of government, and thus you cannot replace it with democracy. Communism, too, is not technically a system of government. However, since it is practically impossible to enforce such a philosophy through anything but a one party autocracy, it could be said to be merely a flavor of authoritarian government.

Reuters: “Moore even features priests who say capitalism is anti-Christian by failing to protect the poor.

‘Essentially we have a law which says gambling is illegal but we've allowed Wall Street to do this and they've played with people's money and taken it into these crazy areas of derivatives,’ Moore told an audience in Venice.”

Christ taught we should render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s. We ought to be generous to our fellow man. Note He did not say the government ought to be generous with our money. I believe Christ would say that it falls on the Capitalist person to use his wealth for the common good.

Secondly, I’m sure Michael Moore’s next movie will show the footage where the Wall Street investors pulled out their pistols, pointed them at people’s heads, and forced them to give them money (You know, what our government does). What? They didn’t do that!? You mean people invested in something that was risky of their own free will, knowing full well that they might lose money doing it? Freaky.

From Michael Moore’s website: "It's 'Capitalism: A Love Story' and the 'love' refers to how the wealthy love their money, except this has a new twist: They not only love their money now, they love our money. And they want our money." – Michael Moore on The Jay Leno Show

Hey Mikey, newsflash: They’ve always loved your money. It’s called profit. You want their sevice/product, they provide it, and you give them money, which they love.
Roll this situation back to Adam and Eve’s grandkids. Let’s take Joe. Take is not much of a man’s man and can’t make a straight spear to save his life, but boy Joe can weave a find basket. Steve over there, he can churn out spears like there’s no tomorrow, but baskets, not so much. Joe trades Steve some outstanding baskets for some outstanding spears. Joe wins. Steve wins.

Fastforward this situation a bit. Perhaps Joe decides that he isn’t going to do anything but make baskets, because he can do it really well. He trades these baskets to others for things he needs, like food and clothing. He even gets other people to make baskets with him, and together they make the best darn baskets two chickens can buy! Whammo. That’s Capitalism, baby.

The problem everyone has with Capitalism is that it isn’t fair. Someone who is smarter, harder working, or just luckier than the next guy is going to do better. You will have those who succeed. You will have those that fail. Communism sounds so much nicer. Everyone works hard because it will help everyone else. No one goes without, and we all live in peace and harmony.

The problem is that humans are not like that. The reason Capitalism works and Communism fails is because Communism doesn’t take into account flawed humanity. Capitalism says that people are by nature greedy and selfish. They will work hard when it benefits them, because it benefits them. That hard work, in turn, will benefit everyone else. If you need proof of the flaws in humanity you need look no further than your local toddler. The untrained tot is naturally selfish, greedy, and unconcerned with anyone else’s needs, wants, or desires. That is the natural state of humanity.

Fortunately, I have good news for anyone who does want to see this movie. In order to remain consistent with his own convictions, Michael Moore will be making obscene profits at the box office giving this movie away for free! He’s also going to travel to all these premiers via private jets polluting the environment horse and buggies driven by the Amish. I’d go, but I have to find that darn stick first.

6 comments:

Russel said...

Moore is a buffoon. Capitalism has its strengths and weaknesses, theoretically and practically; it truly is the worst system, except for all the other ones. And to an extent the instant downturn is the fault of flaws endemic to capitalism. But to a much greater extent it is the fault of government tinkering with capitalism, of "stamps of approval" from government agencies that influence government behavior, of the behavior of the quasi-governmental Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac (thanks Barney Frank), and of attempts to artificially prevent natural ebbs in the business cycle that have magnified the effects of the recession when it did come. At the end of the day capitalism is very simple, and the belief that its risks can be tamed by government or predicted by econometricians has been proven dangerously ill-founded

Maelyn said...

The sad thing is that so many people will see that movie and believe every word. They won't even question it.

Kendall said...

Have you seen the movie? How do you know what he talks about?

I saw him on Leno, and apparantly he takes a lot of shots at the left too. He claims that he goes after Chris Dodd (D-Conn) pretty hard., and Leno confirmed this.

I haven't seen the movie, so I will withhold my opinions until then.

Lobe said...

I have not seen the movie. I suppose, to be absolutely fair, I must admit that I cannot be certain what the plot is. Until I see it, there is still the possibility that this is all a huge practical joke that he and every person and journalist that saw the film at the festival is in on. It is possible that he's made statements such as "Capitalism is... Unroll Parchment evil" and whatnot in jest, and that the people who saw the movie and draw that conclusion from it are just playing along. When the movie is released to the general public (in October, I believe) he may come out and say "Gotcha! Capitalism is AWESOME!" and we'll all have a huge laugh about how silly communism is, together.

Somehow I just don't think that's the case.

Kendall said...

I've seen a few clips, and now I've seen him on the colbert report. It sounds like he's basically going after the companys that received bailout money and the politicians that receive lots of money from lobbyists.

I think his problem is more about the company's waving the capitalist banner and then happily taking our money when things go south. (Socialism)

Jacoby said...

Kendall, that is very true...we agree on something!! Wow..lol

on a side note: hope all is well for you.