DADT repealed*

HR 6520 has been signed into law. Titled "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Repeal Act of 2010", the bill is remarkably short considering it's considerable impact on our nation's armed forces. About a page long, it allows for the repeal of DADT 60 days after the President, Secretary of Defense, and Joint Chiefs send a signed letter to Congress certifying that the repeal will not affect military readiness and that the DoD is all set to function without it.

It's uncertain when this approval will get sent, but it's not likely to be long and is assured in coming. Fortunately, I have every confidence that the DoD will spend plenty of time carefully formulating solutions to overcome the problems cited in every single survey of troops they've ever done, namely that of privacy, particularly as it related to showers and close quarters living.

Wait, hold on. They've already got the solution. Here it is:

"A special Defense Department working group appointed by Defense Secretary Robert Gates has recommended that the military should “expressly prohibit” heterosexuals from using separate showers, bathrooms and bunking facilities from homosexuals when the repeal of the law banning homosexuals from the military goes into effect."

In other words: Get over it.

Gee, thanks DoD.

The report says that a "very large number" of servicemembers (nearly 75%) expressed this concern. The report says that having separate showers or living quarters would be a "logistical nightmare" (We could have saved the taxpayers millions on this report if anyone at DoD had just read my blog. I've been saying this for months). Also, it might make people feel bad.

Here's how the conversation between DoD and actual ground troops would go.

Joe: "Hey, what about me showering inches away from a gay man? That makes me uncomfortable. I can't shower next to a straight woman for obvious reasons, and that same logic applies to gay men showering with me."

DoD: "Yeah...We really can't think of a good way to solve this problem. But don't worry, we've got a solution that never fails."

Joe: "Stick with what works?"

DoD: "Ignore the problem and pretend it doesn't exist!"

Joe: "...But...What about ---"

DoD: "Lalalalalalala I can't hear you! lalalalalala"

Fortunately, this whole situation has provided us some new guidance from higher. Here it is, the rules straight from DoD.

Joe's opinion only matters if:

1) Joe is not a combat troop, and will not be fighting in any war.

2) Joe's opinion agrees with our politically motivated preconceived notions.

3) The solutions to Joe's concerns are quick, inexpensive, and easy.

The military will adapt and overcome to this new complication, like we do to everything else. This will not, in my opinion, cause a mass exodus from the military. What it will necessitate is leaders at the lowest level becoming creative and finding solutions to overcome the idiocy dictated by people who have never left the office.

So, pretty much the same as always.