You know who’s really organized? Anarchists (Part 1)

I was recently notified of a group in my beloved hometown of Richmond who call themselves the Wingnuts. A friend of mine who happens to serve in the Police Department there has encountered them several times, particularly at community meetings which they frequent, and asked me to write about them on my blog. A quick glance at their website revealed their self proclaimed title: The Wingnut Anarchist Collective. I will bypass a lengthy paragraph on the irony of a group of anarchists organizing to do…Well…anything…and simply say that it gave me a smirk. Their website contains a very sanitized sort of mission statement which indicts with charges of oppression everyone and everything from capitalism to homophobia.

Rather than simply going forward with my preconceived notions of anarchists and write a blog based solely on second hand information (mainly because this method is copyrighted by CNN & MSNBC) I decided that I would take a stroll on down to the Wingnut house and see what they were all about. So, armed with my notebook and pen I went on down to their neighborhood. Here's some pictures I took (though these are from my second encounter, not the first, as I'll explain).



That script you can't really make out reads "We gladly feast on those who oppress us".
Yes. That is a pig in a police uniform on the far left side. "In memory of people murdered by the state".

When I arrived the front yard was empty and the door was wide open. I cautiously approached, trying to find someone to speak to. Eventually, after I called out and nobody answered, I stepped into the front door and into what I expected to be a lobby but what actually was the apparent living room of the Wingnuts. My intrusion was met with, shall we say, an overwhelming lack of enthusiasm, particularly after I explained the name of my blog and why I was there. (As a side note, I would like to go on the record apologizing for inadvertently entering uninvited into another person’s home. I sincerely thought that the building was more of a “headquarters” for their movement, and seeing the door open, walked in a few steps. No offense was intended.)

I eventually convinced one gentleman by the name of Eric to speak to me on the porch. He insisted that he would be unable to answer even the most basic questions about their beliefs unless he got permission from the collective as a whole. Confused as I was by this strange trend of apparent conformism from a self-avowed anarchist, I left my phone number and he promised to call the next day with an answer.

True to his word, I received a call from Eric the following evening. The basic response was that they were unwilling to answer any of my questions. I did, through a little persistence, manage to get Eric to make a few isolated statements about his group’s purpose. I don’t have a transcript of the call, but thankfully my good friend and entertainer Steve Carell offered to reenact the conversation. See below.



Having found the answer of “I dunno” to be somewhat less than satisfying I determined to take my Crusade to the next level. Two nights later I returned to the house. Standing on public property I practiced my 1st Amendment rights for a time in the form of shouted questions about the group to their members.

The Wingnuts responded with several colorful demands for me to leave, videotaping myself and my vehicle, and then a period of silence. Eventually, they sent forth a representative. Showing a shrewd sense of public relations that would shame any politician, the representative they chose was a young, lithe, highly intelligent, very attractive blond woman with a voice like silk and eyes like augurs. I found the piercing of her left ear, which was actually the cap of a yellow highlighter, to be particularly clever and alluring. She introduced herself as “Moe”. Unlike the rather plain, indecisive, effeminate Eric, Moe seemed to know exactly what she believed in and why. After a bit of small talk she gave me the answers I was looking for.

I’m going to start with some of the back and forth dialogue (all paraphrased summations of the conversation since I didn’t have a tape recorder and the Wingnuts indicated that they weren’t comfortable with recorded conversations anyway). In part two of this blog I’ll dissect the opinions presented and offer my own.

DISCLAIMER! The following opinions were expressed by Moe, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Wingnuts, Anarchists, Libertarians, Catholic Church, Environmental Protection Agency, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Monty Python, orphaned children, al-Qaida, Communist Party, that-guy-you-met-but-can’t-remember-his-name-so-you-keep-calling-him-man-or-buddy-hoping-somehow-his-name-will-come-up-in-conversation, little old ladies crossing the street, or your mom. You have been warned.

Question: Legislation. How would an “Anarchist Government” function? Who would make the laws? How?

Answer: Ideally there wouldn’t be any sort of central government. The authority would be decentralized as much as possible, and all decisions made on the local level through Consensus Governing.

Question: Consensus Governing. Is that anything like a quasi-Athenian style of direct Democracy?

Answer: No, because direct Democracy doesn’t protect the rights of the minority. Consensus governing focuses on building a consensus with all concerned on the issue until everyone agrees on a course of action.

Question: What happens when you can’t agree? If there is an impasse, what do you do?

Answer: We continue building consensus until everyone does.

Question: What if you can't ever get everyone to agree? Does nothing happen then? Do you simply not act?

Answer: Every group handles this situation differently.

Question: How about defense? How would this society defend itself from external threats?

Answer: With guns.

Question: Great, so a local militia. But, what happens when some person from the next town brings all their guns? Or say the next two or three towns? How would a consensus based society with no cohesive government defend itself from such an external threat?

Answer: That situation won’t be an issue, because the sort of society we envision can’t happen overnight. It would require a fundamental change in the way we currently operate. Essentially, it can’t happen until everyone realizes that “what’s good for their neighbors is good for them” and that there are enough resources for everyone if we work together. By eliminating the need for competition and aggression through a change in society’s fabric we will enact peace. In essence defense is not necessary because of the smaller scale of power that would exist worldwide.

Question: So basically you deal with the problem of human nature by changing human nature?

Answer: Human nature is a product of its environment.

Question: Would you support any sort of armed revolution to enact this change?

Answer: No, absolutely not. You can’t force people to change in the way that is necessary to have a successful Anarchist society. They have to do it of their own free will.

Question: How about currently, in the world we live in now. Could someone who is an Anarchist serve in the military?

Answer: I don’t see how. There are people who claim to be Anarchists who serve, but I don’t see how they can and remain consistent.

Question: “Security Culture” is mentioned repeatedly on your website, but isn’t explained fully. Could you clarify what it means?

Answer: OPSEC. Knowing when and how to say something, and more importantly, knowing how to remain silent when necessary. “Loose lips sink ships”.

Question: I saw that you guys offer food to the local populace, and in particular have a children’s breakfast once a week. What other things do you do for your community?

Answer: We do other food based drives throughout the year. We also do a weekly trash cleanup, write letters supporting prisoners, and offer general support to the community.

Answer: Would your organiz –

Answer: Stop. I’m Answer. You’re Question.

Question: Right. Sorry. Would your organization support the breaking of laws that are perceived as unjust?

Answer: No comment.

Question: Fair enough. Your organization has the slogan “Food not bombs” posted, in particular on that banging truck ya’ll have. What does this mean?

Answer: The government should spend money on food, not bombs.

Question: Oh. Well, that was simple. I mean it was actually pretty obvious. I feel kinda stupid now, even asking that question.

Answer: You should.

Question: Anyway….Well it was nice talking to you.

Answer: …

Question: So…You busy tonight? Wanna grab coffee?

Answer: I work in a coffee shop. I don’t need any more caffeine in my life.

Question: Right. Well, how about some other time? Dinner?

Answer: …

Question: …

Answer: …

Question: Well, thanks again for answering my questions.

Stay tuned for Part 2!

Moe, if you're reading this, call me!