Russia and US swap spies. One of which is REALLY hot.

Russia is back at it again. Like a spurned lover who just can’t believe it’s really over, Russia seems unable to grasp that the Cold War was finished, like, decades ago. So, in a bid to bring the romance back into their lives they sent ten crack agents into the suburbia of America.

Their mission: To expose easily obtainable and largely public information of questionable security value in exchange for a pittance of pay from the Russian government.

The team had everything: A travel agent, a real-estate agent, a Spanish news reporter, a stay at home mom… They did include the one thing that every Russian spy team absolutely MUST have. Expensive gadgets? Extensive hand to hand training? Nay. They had one really, really hot Russian spy chick. (Pictures to follow).

Yeah, spying just isn’t as exciting as it was back during the Cold War. But hey, they’re trying here! Fortunately America swooped in to spice up this inept spy story. In Vienna today the US sealed the deal to trade spies with our old nemesis Russia. The Russians get their ten mediocre spies. We get four real deal spies, including two Russian intelligence colonels. These men were responsible for busting many actual, you know, competent spies operating in the US back in the day. We got Igor Sutyagin, a friggin arms researcher. Now THAT’S a spy story! International flights, clandestine swaps of suspects.

So, to sum up, Russia gets ten of the worst spies ever. We get four really good ones, including two colonels and an arms researcher. Way to go America! We totally won in this deal…right?

Anna Chapman, Russian spy we traded away. (More pictures here)

Damnit, we were totally ripped off.