Friday, May 8, 2009

Obama Rating: 5%

Here it is, the weekly report on our Beloved Leader. Can he hold on to his double digit approval rating?

#1:No bailout of newspapers: This might seem a little small. After all, it seems we're bailing out just about everybody these days. Auto makers, banks, lemonade stands...Apparently, though, newspapers don't make the grade. While the White House expressed "concern" and "sadness" over the newspapers going the way of the dino, they refuse to push for any act to stop it. Good on them, I say, for a few reasons.

  • To have the government step in, and treat the papers like they've treated the auto industry, would be an egregious violation of the first amendment (government controlled media, anybody?)
  • Newspapers are still a business, and deserve to rise and fall on their own merits without interference.
  • Most importantly, news isn't going away. It's just the paper version of it. Times change.

One must wonder if the Communist News Network (CNN) or the New Barack Channel (NBC) were to go bankrupt, would his attitude be the same? I can hope so. He goes up 1% for not trying to fight the inevitable.

#2: Air Force One looks SO cool near the Statue of Liberty. I can just imagine how this went down. He's thinking to himself about how Air Force One needs some new pics to show off just how cool it is. Then it hits him. What is the only thing cooler than having the Statue of Liberty in the background? Having the Statue of Liberty and the terrified populace of New York running for their lives! That's the ticket.

In case you couldn't hear the screams and didn't know what was going on Air Force one did a very low fly over of downtown New York. What the people on the ground saw, though, was a 747 being "chased" by fighter jets. I know what your thinking: "Who could have predicted that having a jet fly really low over New York could make people nervous? I mean, it's not like jets have hit buildings there before killing thousands of Americans or something!"

Well, actually, it appears the FAA could, and did, predict just such a reaction. They released a memo prior to the flight. "[The] Federal Aviation Administration's James Johnston said the agency was aware of "the possibility of public concern regarding DOD (Department of Defense) aircraft flying at low altitudes" in an around New York City. But they demanded total secrecy from the NYPD, the Secret Service, the FBI and even the mayor's office and threatened federal sanctions if the secret got out."

According to the US News, "The photo shoot staged by a jet from the Air Force One fleet and an F16 fighter plane flying low near the Statue of Liberty cost taxpayers $328,835, according to a Pentagon estimate, and frightened witnesses into thinking they were watching another 9/11 attack.

The White House Military Office wanted the picture of the President's plane for promotional purposes. The director of that office, Louis Caldera, has taken responsibility for the incident and apologized."

So, Louis Caldera takes the hit for the team. Personally, I don't buy it. It is Air Force One. There are only two of them. They are his personal jets. He doesn't know where they are? No one tells him? Louis just calls up, all by himself, and takes one of the President's personal jets and no one tells Obama? Barack has to know this is happening, because if it is, he can't use it that day. The scheduling alone would be a nightmare. For scaring the bajeezas out of NYC on the taxpayer dime, he drops 3%. Plus another 1% for throwing poor Louis under the bus.

#3: Super CEO Obama "stress tests" the banking system. Who knows more about banking than banking CEOs? Why, Barack Obama of course! Fresh from displaying his wealth of knowledge about the auto-industry by firing GM's CEO, it appears a few more heads might go on the chopping block, this time from banks who didn't pass the so called "stress test" (I'm looking at you, Bank of America and Citigroup). Though the story has been leaked since early this week, the report just came out last night. Banks now have 30 days to announce a plan. What should that plan include? If you read this press release from the Fed & gang:

"...firms will need to review their existing management and Board in order to assure that the leadership of the firm has sufficient expertise and ability to manage the risks presented by the current economic environment".

Allow me to translate: Hope you got that golden parachute ready, boys, because you're going to need it. Once upon a time, the hirings and firings of private enterprise would have been of no concern to the Federal government. It seems that those times are come and gone. Of course, this isn't statism or socialism, no no no! This is just the President directly interfering with the employment and compensation agreements between private citizens and private companies, that's all. He loses 3% for readying the noose.

Tally up the scores, and you'll find a net 6 point loss, bringing el Presidente down to 5%. Can we stay above zero? YES WE CAN!

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