Auto Industry spanked by Obama

In what Yahoo news describes as an "unprecedented move", Obama flat our rejected the turnaround plans submitted by GE and Chrysler, "demanding fresh concessions for long-term federal aid and raising the possibility of quick bankruptcy for either ailing auto giant".

Automaker CEO Barrack Obama...Wait...No...I'm sorry, I got confused. Obama already fired GM's CEO...So I guess that would make it...Got it. Automaker CEO Super-Ultra-MEGA-CEO Obama said today that "our auto industry is not moving in the right direction fast enough to succeed". Drawing on his many decades years weeks minutes of experience in the auto industry, Obama gave GM 60 days worth of operational cash, and Chrysler 30 days.

Remember folks: We are NOT moving towards Socialism. Don't let those right wing crazies fool you. Comrade...I mean...President Obama wouldn't do that to us, the people! After all, we've only moved from injecting a little cash into a business (which we've been doing for years, after all) to hiring and firing CEOs and dictating business plans. No big deal.

In a completely unrelated story, this was written shortly after Obama was anointed leader of the galaxy: "A friend of labor and its allies sit in the White House...He's expressed support for higher fuel efficiency standards for motor vehicles...The only answer is through massive injections of money from the federal government into the economy, into the hands of people who will spend it."

Who wrote it, you ask? That would be Samuel Webb, National Chairperson for the Communist Party of America.

UPDATE: GM is going to replace a majority of the members of their Board of Directors. The Administration is going to play a "key role" in choosing these new members. Call me crazy, but that sounds just a tiny bit frightening to me.